Tuesday, December 6, 2011

"Four-Thirty Thoughts"

[A bit of a seasonal meditation from our favorite Rockstar Poet-in-Residence, as she contemplates craving & disappointment.   Another lovely poem & drawing—enjoy!]

Four-Thirty Thoughts

I don’t really like the taste of food that much.
Not really.
Not the way I’ve seen other people truly enjoy it.
However, I do have one exception.
There is one taste that I spend 10 months waiting for,
and two months savoring.
Egg Nogg.
I crave it in April.
I crave it in June.
I crave it in the heat of summer and two days after
they’re out of it at the grocery store in January.
And in those two blissful months that Egg Nogg is
flowing like a breath stealing, cream-colored stream….
My thirst for it is insatiable.
It hit the stores yesterday.
I purchased my first half-gallon of the season
in a fevered state, and I could feel it slip down my throat
from the moment I reached for the carton.
I perused the dairy section for a full fifteen minutes
trying to decide which flavor to try first.
Because when Egg Nogg is an option, the selection of
styles is seemingly unending.
Lite, Traditional, Laesch, Kemp’s, Premium, and on and on.
I chose carefully.
This was not an impulse buy.
This was not a key chain or a lock de-icer.
This was, after all, Egg Nogg.
I left the store with all the eagerness of a twenty-one year old
purchasing his first legal bottle of booze.
And when I got home, I poured myself the perfect glass of my seasonal addiction.
But when I tasted it,
when all of the sweetness of it ran over my tongue,
I thought of you.
And I realized that maybe I was never meant to have
any of the sweeter things in life.
That maybe I shouldn’t set my heart on something
that I’ll only be able to have for a short time.
Because it only makes everything more difficult when
the Egg Nogg isn’t available anymore.
I dumped the rest of the glass down the sink.
And I left the carton in the fridge.
Maybe someone else will drink it.
Someone who won’t become as addicted to it.

Barbie Dockstader Angell.
© 2009


  1. Even though I don't like egg nog at all, your poem had me craving it just a little bit.
    I have to say, I most enjoyed the lines when you poured it down the sink and left it for someone else.

    If you truly love it, you MUST try this: http://www.thepartysource.com/express/item.php?id=9961

  2. Personally, i don't care for egg-nog, but i think Barbie that there's nothing wrong with living life to the fullest and enjoying it when its here. And love, like life, may only be for a while, but we shouldn't long for it while it is in front of us. Let the sweetness splash all over the tongue!

  3. Hi Kat & Zen: Wow, two people who don't like egg nog! I love the stuff myself, & while I'm polite enough to leave some for others I don't pour it down the sink!

    Kat: Thanks for stopping by! & the fact that you were craving egg nog, despite your aversion to it is a testament to Barbie's considerable poetic powers! My word, tho, that stuff you linked to looks vile :)

    Zen: Amen to that--both your wish for Barbie, which I share with you, & your general thought about living life fully because it is, indeed, short. Always glad to see you stop by!

  4. John - It's only vile on the first drink! After that, it tastes d'lishus!

  5. Kat: I'll have to take your word on that one!

  6. kat, thank you. :) what a lovely compliment. and thanks for the link too....although i think just smelling that might get me drunk. :)

    zen, so true. :) i guess she was in a "know when to fold them" place there at the end. she tried, but failed. still, she knew that it wasn't her or him....just them together. :) i'm doing my best to live life to the fullest though. thanks for your sweet words. :)

    john, don't worry, i couldn't drink that egg nogg either. :) i prefer mine non-alcoholic.

  7. Wow, you got me there at the end. I think this is one of your best.

  8. Hi Barbie & Dani

    Barbie: I'm with you on that one : )

    Dani: Thanks for stopping by--definitely a very good one by Barbie Angell!

  9. aw, thank you dani. :) i'm incredibly honored that you think it's so well done.

  10. I like the shift from eggnog to "I thought of you." It was a beautiful startling moment.

    The poem being about eggnog alone was great too (especially "breath stealing, cream-colored stream") but then adding that other person and the flavor of bitter love gives it another layer of depth. And I like how that bad or bittersweet experience colors everything else in the speaker's life, including the simple wholesome enjoyment of a glass of eggnog. I do wish she'd have savored it to the last drop, bittersweetly, appreciative of what's there. But unfulfilled or unrequited love can make you throw the eggnog down the drain... though what a waste.

  11. Hi: HKatz: Thanks so much for stopping by & for giving Barbie's poem such a careful reading--much appreciated!

  12. hkatz, yep, that particular boy was certainly no lock de-icer. :) thanks for the wonderful comments.


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